Life constantly requires us to give other people some hugely awkward messages: that we don't love them anymore; that we do love them (though we're not meant to); that they smell a bit; that they're fired; that we're furious with them (though we adore them) or that their music is too loud... Often; out of embarrassment; we just stay quiet. Occasionally we explode. And typically; we stumble about; looking for the right words - dreading that we didn't find them and thereby causing more hurt than we should. This is a book to help us locate the best possible words to get across a range of life's most difficult messages. With twenty case studies drawn from relationships; friendships; work; our families and service situations; we are gently shown what we might - in an ideal world - find ourselves saying to make our intentions known while causing minimal harm. We are guided; among other topics; to how best to end a relationship; how to make it up with a child and how gently to let down a friend who wants more. We laugh; we recognise our troubles - and we're introduced to a range of deeply empathetic ways to navigate some of our most acute social dilemmas.